Tuesday, August 25, 2009

To Mick: A Good Anti-Hero Conscept

Well, then I am back...I have had a long week and I apologise for my absence gentle viewers. Well, school starts tomorrow and I went to the French Laundry...oh the near celestial banquet that they presented before me during that phantasmal evening...*drools*...

Anyhow, I basically took the concept of V from V for Vendetta and inverted it on it's self. Here you have an upper middle class adolescent who possesses great intellect but is some what weak. Now his small feudal region is rather poor and is going through some difficult ages, and the due to the state of government...supreme executive power is purely passed down to the oldest son in the Royal Family. Thus, the current ruler is an impatient bloodthirsty moron who's council consists of a circle of rich Yes Men and nothing more.

After watching his mother and little sister succumb to disease and famine caused by the devastatingly poor economy, he forms a small terrorist organization consisting of a few fellow young men of like minds and a handful of thugs, drug addicts and homeless citizens. After raising enough money to obtain some resources and weaponry by harvesting and selling narcotics at high prices, they have control of the slums. With a staple supply of men and power, the local law enforcement can do little against him and his men. Soon after a bloody civil war between the local law enforcement and the terrorists, they gain utter most control over the settlement. Intent on expanding their power, the leaders split up and each of them takes 10-20 men and moves to the nearest decaying settlement.

The leader takes him men to the capital city, where within the Red Light District they make an abandoned brothel their base of operations. While they befriend the local gangs and distribute narcotics to them in exchange for their loyalties...the other leaders use the same tactics as they used before granting the organization control of three to four settlements. While the other leaders send their men to besiege the capital city, the adolescent takes his new found brute squad and infiltrates the palace at the heart of the city by navigating through the labyrinth sewer system beneath the city. Once they enter the palace halls, they use sleath and cunning to seek past any and all royal guards stationed and finally assassinate the moronic king and any who would be his successor biologically. As a sign of his victory, he has his men burn all the flags stationed within the palace...

And that's as far as I have gotten...

I'm Not the Only Misanthropic Philiospher out There Pepole: Misanthropy Throughout the Ages

The common run of people... betray their utter slavishness in their preference for a life suitable to cattle. ~ Aristotle

A fool can neither escape the future nor endure the present. ~ Cicero

Men are so blind that they even take pride in their blindness. ~ Augustine of Hippo

There are a set of religious, or rather moral writers, who teach that virtue is the certain road to happiness, and vice to misery, in this world. A very wholesome and comfortable doctrine, and to which we have but one objection, namely, that it is not true. ~ Henry Fielding

Whoever fails to degrade the mind avenges himself by insulting it. ~ Beaumarchais

Then why has God put us on earth? To drive us mad. ~ Voltaire

Is not the existence of the most of mankind largely the result of a hot July afternoon, or the tempting sight of bed-linen, or the horizontal position of some sleeping kitchen nymph, or the putting out of a light? ~ Friedrich Schiller

Man is born of filth, and wades a little while in filth, and makes filth, and rots down again in filth, till at the last he’s not more than the muck that sticks to the soles of his great-grandson’s shoes. ~ Friedrich Schiller

Man is very lavish in the use of the word 'fool' and is ready to apply it twenty times a day to his neighbor. ~ Nikolai Gogol

And it became abundantly clear what sort of creature man is: wise, clever, and sensible in all things that concern others but not himself. ~ Nikolai Gogol

Man is capable of understanding everything: how the ether vibrates, and what's taking place on the sun; but when it comes to how another man can blow his nose in a way that differs from one's own-- why, that's something beyond one's powers of comprehension. ~ Ivan Turgeney

The bite on which I gagged the most is not the knowledge that life itself requires hostility and death and torture-crosses--but once I asked, and I was almost choked by my question: What? does life require even the rabble? Are poisoned wells required, and stinking fires and soiled dreams and maggots in the bread of life? ~ Friedrich Nizstche

Friday, August 7, 2009

Another Movie Review from the "Russian-Jugde" Nollaf: The Rocker

Hello again you hideous fools, tis' me Nollaf again for the approximately fortieth time. Yes, I am fully aware of the fact that I have no life at all. You'll just have to shake your head at me in vane. Well I am ranting live from the local 3rd and B Teen Center! A big utterly sarcastic whoop is called for indeed...good god, the two tracks of heavy metal playing at once at full blast at the same time is enough to deafen one for all of eternity, no? But, anyhow even I have to get out of the house at times and socialize with my peers. Believe it or not, there are a select few adolescents who do not drive me insane with their mindless and quite shallow gibbering. Anyhow, enough introduction on with the movie review.

Last night, I viewed a modern film known as The Rocker. Released in approximently...hmm...2007 or 2008 I be live it was. I am not certain on the release date and I am far too apathetic to put in the effort to look up said release date. Well, I was fairly disappointed. I could get a better laugh by viewing clips of people getting injured on YouTube for free. I'm a sadist so SUE ME! The plot synopsis centers around the story of an out of work, "has-been" drummer known as "Fish" who used to be a rather zealous member of a band known as Vesuvius. However, in the opening sequence they ditch him and move on towards fame and glory. 20 years later he is an unemployed middle-aged man with an infernal grudge against his former comrades of er...(I believe the appropriate modern term among said sub-culter is) "rock". However, after joining a high school band (one of the members is a morbidly obese nerdy adolescent who is his nephew), he becomes an Internet legend due to a mishap evolving a digital practice session and Fish being nude. Well the band gets a tour because of the mishap.

Long story short, outside of that there really is no actual plot line. It's like a really bad form of fictional biography. No plot, no real character development. Most of the humor is just toilet humor (however some of the more witty jokes made me laugh), but most of the laughs you could get from a jack-ass episode. Overall I give it 3 out of 5.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

To Mick: A Descent Boss Concept

Hello viewers, this short post is ment for Mick West. But I wont stop you other viewers from reading this. Well, Mick...sense you are in the video game industry I thought of a descent idea for a boss monster. I thought that you would like to hear it...I basically took the basic concept of Legion (or Grandfalloon as he is also known as) from the Castlevaina Series and made it into a sort of puzzle, tetris-themed boss.

You see, this boss monster would sort of be one of those "Giant Radioactive Space Flies from Nowhere" kind of bosses. Ie, the bosses that random make their short debut as a final encounter in a dungeon or level but have no real significance to the plot. Sort of like Dead Hand (Boss of the Bottom of the Well mini dungeon and mini-boss of the Shadow Temple) from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. You see, Legion was a Cthulhu-Type enitiy surrounded by a sphere of featureless humanoid monsters. But what if we take away the corpses and replace them with Tetris Blocks? Now the appearance of this monster's shell would be similar to that of Ozma (the super boss of Final Fantasy IX), but instead of just a swirling mass of color, it's a swirling mass of Tetris Blocks. The bottom side would be of a darker hue while the upper would be of a lighter hue. Each semi-spherical mass of blocks would be spiraling in opposite directions giving it a psychedelic edge.

Now the arena would be a large...hm, let's say 100ft by 100ft giving you some space to move around in. Now sometimes a block would drop down from the mass and it would fall to earth. As the player you would have to push and arrange the blocks so that as they fell they would create a wall that extends from one side of the room to the other. This creates a mighty blast of energy that shoots upward incinerating the creature's defences greatly if it wanders into the blast. All blocks used to create the wall are subsequently incinerated as well. So it's basically 3-D Tetris with the occasnal netherworldy tentacle that launches down from the mass to pick you up and throw you agianst the spiked wall. After you deal enough damage to one side of the sphere, it inveters on it's self and vice verse until at least 70% of the blocks are destroyed and the core monster transfigures the remaining blocks into large green venomus looking insects that swarm around the master enity. These bare an uncanning resemablnce to the aliens of Space Invaders

They shoot small jets of acid at you, so you have to kill them. But the master creature will constantly produce more and more of them. So you have to attack the festering pours that dot it's alien body until you destroy them all...killing it.

Of course an orchestral, trans-Siberian version of Korobeiniki will be playing through out the battle and will be slowly growing more intense throughout the fight as you expose more and more of the creatures true body. The transition would be similar to the Hall of the Mountain King's. At first it would be just a soft piano version, but as more and more the tetris blocks fall apart...the orchestra kicks in slowly until it's a booming symphonic masterpiece when the master creature emerges from it's shell...

Personally I think that it's a really cool idea, but I don't know. Sense your the expert on these things...I thought that I would get your ipion.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Good, god...humanity is doomed: Cullenism

Ok...I had a little faith left in humanity that maybe..there was roughly 5% of the populace who aren't utterly moronic fools. Well, good god how I was WRONG!!! The fact that roughly 18% of the populace believes that the sun revolves around the earth, I can live with...but this? THIS?!?! God, how I hate my peers with burning passion. Oh why, you ask? Why? *evil glare* oh, I WILL tell you WHY!!! Crazed rabid fan girls are one thing but CULLENISM!!?!!?!!! What the hell happened?!?


*pant, pant, pant* OK, I don't even know what to say to this. Pardon my language but, WHAT THE F*&^%!!!!????!!!! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE F#$%!!!???!!! ARE YOU INSANE OR JUST RETA...no, that would be a complement to you and an insult to all the humans with down syndrome. YOU, are just...f@#$ing MORONS!!!

OK, now Stephenie Meyer...see what kind of nightmare you have created SEE!!?!! AGH!!!

Now, what is Cullenism? Ok, Cullenism is composed of criminally insane and/or just utterly moronic fan girls who believe that all the protagonist and antagonists of the Twilight Saga are in fact deities. No, friggin joke. With some painful research, I discovered further details about this...horrific variation of Scientology.

n the grand scheme of Cullenism, there are four gods and now four goddesses that we pray to; Edward, Bella, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, each god can (and probably will) have a different significance to each Cullenist. However, each Cullen god is unique in his or her own way.

Edward is the god of protection, chivalry and game.
Bella is the god of Insecurities, Closure and beginnings
Carlisle is the god of health and prosperity.
Esme is the god of care and compassion.
Jasper is the god of war, strategy and educational pursuit.
Alice is the god of fashion, fun and love.
Emmett is the god of strength, friendliness and happiness.
Rosalie is the god of beauty and grace.

In turn, each god/goddess can be prayed to for different reasons, at different times, some, you may pray to regularly (because your an idoitic teenage girl who is never going to have sexual intercorse until your forty), others on occasion. Each god is equally as...disturbing...as the next. There may be an idiotic different reason you pray to a certain one, whether it's because you're part of their non-existent house, or because they're your favorite Cullen, or perhaps it's because you're in need of their specific guidance...because your an idiot...

As a "Cullenist" they believe:
Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real
Stephenie Meyer is the (or one of the) best author(s)
The twilight series should be worshiped
If you are good in life, you will be bless with eternity with the Cullens, if you are bad in life, you will be sent to James' cave

...I think I need to claim bankruptcy and begin to build my luxurious bomb-shelter that I have been planing you quite some time now...good God, I need to prepare for Stephenie Meyer's conquest for world domination...AGH!!! This infernal cult has reduced adolscents to a mere husk of it's former chaotic and remotely respectable glory...*slams head agianst keyboard*...